The difference between being self-centred and selfish
The first point that has to be made is that these are two different things.
So what’s the difference?
Being Selfish or Self-Centred both put you first, but the real difference is the costs that comes with putting yourself first.
- The difference between being self-centred and selfish
- Social Conditioning and Contribution
- Is it ethical?
- Real World Needs and the Current Picture
- The only person who you need to convince
Being Selfish is where you will consciously put yourself first often at the expense of others. More often than not selfishness is where valuable information is kept secret when others need to know. It can also take the form of assigning blame on others, as well as a myriad of other behaviours.
Being self-centred on the other hand once again puts you first, however it does it in a far ‘cleaner’ and more acceptable way. The long term upside of being self-centric is that you can position yourself to be able to help others later in a far more powerful and sustainable way when you’re actually able to do so.
Related: A letter to parents
Social Conditioning and Contribution
This whole question of putting yourself first comes up because of a perception of greed and greater contribution.
After all having more than you need is selfish right? As long as you can pay the bills then you should be helping others less fortunate?
This is where the vast majority of people have it backwards.
The common social belief is to ask for little and do as much as you can with it, even when it means giving away to causes at your own expense. Having more than what you ‘need’ is a greedy waste?
It can be seen this way until you can do more than the average person.
This is why a success goal particularly with external motivators is so powerful. Putting yourself first initially is where the personal goal becomes more than just you and where you can help others once you’re in position to do so. Whether it’s educating others and giving them the info to start or to literally help someone else’s goal take flight … taking care of yourself first has to be a priority and to this end, being Self-centred is not a problem.
You want proof?
Why do airlines tell you to put your oxygen mask on first? You’re no good to anyone if you’re not capable of helping in the first place!
Is it ethical?
Is your success goal and dream ethical? If this even needs consideration then you have your answer?
Real world needs and the current picture.
I’m not anti-job, but I am anti-slavery, and life is not a cheap thing to participate in. Is a money for time trade worth it?
I’ve addressed this question previously but it’s a question I think warrants a quick review.
Once again this comes back to social conditioning and social contribution.
There are countless people who need assistance in one way or another. Regardless of who needs help, the social contribution is handled typically either directly or indirectly, where direct assistance can be providing support personally or indirectly by contributing to a fund, or through the support of government initiatives supported through tax, just to give some examples.
But providing additional support and contribution at your expense is a questionable strategy.
Hear me out … please!
If you have the belief that you should contribute to a cause as soon as possible with spare cash and time, then despite doing all you can, you’re actually being very ineffective about it. When you have a job that demands tens of hours per week and leaves you with a small surplus after expenses, that you can either use for yourself, or contribute to supporting others, you’re actually working two jobs.
The first is to support yourself and the other is towards a contribution elsewhere. Being self-centred means you will work to keep your job before you can help others, but doing so while your personal position is not secure. With poor personal management this can keep you stuck.
A personal success dream that earns more in less time is what provides you with greater resources, and more time to provide a larger contribution towards things that are bigger than yourself alone.
A success dream with external goals will indeed make you self-centric, but offers larger benefits to everyone later.
Related: Why Money for time is a poor trade.
The only person who you need to convince
At the end of the day you’re the only one who matters. We already addressed the difference between being selfish and being self-centred and there is nothing wrong with the latter.
Is having a success dream selfish?
It depends on the cost you pay to achieve it, and what you choose to do when you achieve it.
Related: The Latte of Fury