What does it mean when you say yes or no to something?
I want you to think of something that you were asked to do recently that just seemed out of reach—impossible to get done.
Chances are that when it was given to you it came across like this, ‘What do you think you . . .’ or ‘Do you think you could . . .’ where whoever asked the question truly would have expected a Yes or No answer.
What you’re remembering or thinking of, hold it for later.
No one that I know, likes ‘yes’ people. We all know them, the ones who roll over to everything and say yes to even the most absurd requests. But why do we not like them? It’s not the fact they say ‘yes’ to something, it’s more to do with the lack of thought that goes into saying yes to something.
From below, the ‘yes’ person agrees to things or other pressures that usually result in a change of direction, more pressure or work for the rest of the people below.
But even people above the ‘yes’ person usually won’t like them all that much. When you (as a manager) give something to a person below you, they’re usually in a position of authority and when someone in a position such as this is agreeable to anything and everything, then you have to ask yourself, do they have an opinion of their own? And if so, why don’t they speak up. Surely they can’t agree to everything you give them. Surely they can’t handle everything it is that you’re throwing at them and provide quality.
On the other hand, People who reject things for no real reason are just notoriously difficult to deal with.
People who say no to everything, will typically be very isolated, be afraid of change, and usually see everything around them as a threat. But now that we’ve dealt with those two cases, lets think about considerate yes and no answers.
Now I want you think about that impossible task again.
Whatever your impossible situation is, I want you to say yes to it. The idea of making that sort of commitment can be daunting, but the question then becomes why.
You see saying yes to something new, or to something challenging can be very intimidating particularly if you’re saying yes to something which you haven’t done, or don’t know how to do just yet.
Being in this situation isn’t comfortable because it’s not supposed to be—it’s why it’s called ‘getting out your comfort zone.’ But being uncomfortable is a good thing because it means that your exposing yourself to new experiences, and that means growth!
Muscles don’t grow, when they are trained with the same stimulus each training session—they grow when they are shocked with something different.
The same goes for you, you’re not going to grow by doing the same things all the time, you’re only going to get better at those things, and eventually that will lead to boredom and a decline in performance.
You need a challenge—you need to say yes to whatever that impossible task is, and simply figure it out along the way. Sure, there’ll be stresses and worries along the way, but there’ll also be triumphs at the same time. Every step in progress before you has!
Now what if the answer is a no?
Why is it a no? if you’re about to say no to something, has the question . . . has the opportunity been presented before? Opportunity very rarely knocks twice, and if it has come around again to you, then some serious evaluation has to happen or are you saying no, because you’re ‘supposed’ to say no?
By no means do I say ‘yes’ to any persistent issue that comes up more than once, but if you said no to something once and it comes up again, then whoever the tasks comes from, must think that you have the capability of making it happen.
If you find yourself saying ‘no’ for a list of justified reasons, then you’re likely in a position where you should be saying yes to the challenge. After all, if you have reasons for saying ‘no’ now, then you’ve already thought about the problems that you need to overcome and work through when you say ‘yes.’
If you’re going to say no, there truly has to be a hard reason . . . a show stopper that brings the house down, and everything to a grinding halt. If there isn’t the chances are the answer should be a ‘yes’.